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The First Half of My Life
Episode 39
You also don't need to rush to give me an answer. Go back and think about it well.
I'll go to Shenzhen on Monday. Just give me a reply any time before Monday.
Okay.
I'll get going then.
Okay. Thank you Ms. Wu.
Bye-bye. Bye.
Before this, I never thought of leaving this city.
Thirty plus years, all those hard and happy growing up days were imprinted on the water and soil of this place.
I also have envied those people in television or magazines that wander about the world.
Dreamed that one day, I can also leave when I want to.
But what is really holding us back?
Is it this round the clock prosperity or the roads that we know so well
or just some people? Their faces. Their smiles.
When you are with them, that intoxicating atmosphere.
Is that one looking for you?
I'll just get over there for awhile.
Okay.
Actually, I frequently pass by this place. I didn't know that there is still a bar in here.
I also never thought that you are still out with your friends this late at night.
That's right. Or else, where do you think I should be? In my house, alone, distressed and in pain?
Why did you come looking for me this late at night?
Ms. Tang.
I heard that after I left,
there is a huge competition right now
on who should become the department manager of Knowledge Group, am I right?
That's why, I still need to interview a few people tomorrow.
After this matter happened, I calmly thought about it.
Actually, from certain aspects, it is indeed understandable for you to make this decision.
But I have been in Chen Xing for so many years. I have always been very serious and hard working in my job.
And also, I never made any mistakes when it comes to my work.
I was thinking...if you are already not angry...
can you reconsider...
letting me return to Chen Xing?
When I let you leave, did I ever say that I'll let you return?
I can make a guarantee.
I promise to be more hard working on my work.
And also, I will definitely not say any words unrelated to work.
If mistakes are that easy to remedy,
how can we still let others learn a lesson from your case?
Let me tell you again. In my team, people who stir up enmity
have always been a more serious mistake than
coming up with a wrong computation or losing an important client.
It is an unforgivable character problem.
Ms. Tang, actually, think about it more carefully.
Think about it based on my point of view.
My situation is very special.
And also, it's already okay now. Luo Zijun has already left.
Sorry. No matter who has left, you can never return to Chen Xing.
Of course, unless I leave.
Hello, Xiao Dong.
Do you have time tomorrow lunch? Let's have lunch together.
I want to ask you to help me with something.
Yes.
Let me tell you. She's being such a bully!
I must let her know
that a person can't have good luck forever.
Mom. Mom.
What time is it?
11 plus. Ping'er has already slept?
Yes, he's already alseep.
Why did you come home this late?
What work were you looking for? This late...
You haven't eaten right? Let me warm them for you.
No need. No need. I have already eaten.
Oh, you've already eaten.
If you've eaten, then I'll take these egg dumplings home.
I'll make your Uncle Cui some egg dumpling soup for lunch tomorrow.
Oh, right. Have you found a job?
About my job, it's almost taken care of.
It's just that I might need to leave Shanghai.
Business trip? How many times a month?
You...since you were little, other than leisure travels,
you never lived outside before. Can you really get used to it?
Let's not talk about you first. Just hearing that you're leaving Shanghai,
I...can't bear to.
That's right. That's why I said I'm going to give it some thoughts first.
After all, you and Ziqun are both here in Shanghai.
That's why, ask conditions from her.
If the salary is very low, don't go.
If the salary is high, I think we can consider it.
I'll go take a bath.
Okay. Go and take a bath then. I'll get going now.
Oh, right. If you have time, go and talk with your little sister.
I feel that her matter is really so worrisome.
I'm going now.
Bai Guang.
Why are you here? Where is our son?
I let auntie at the back kitchen to help me take care of him first. I have something to say to you.
We're already close. Tomorrow--
I'll go after I said it.
I must go back immediately or Didi will cry if he can't see me when he wakes up.
Don't believe Ah Huei's lies.
Just to anger you, he will say anything.
You did say you want to divorce me. You did say before that you like him.
You personally said that to me.
That was in the past.
I just said those but I never did anything.
And also, didn't you also say that you won't divorce me no matter what I do?
- Do you still remember?- I remember.
If he didn't embarrass me face to face with your affair with him,
I wouldn't have felt that this is a problem at all.
But you don't know that as long as one is a man--
Just treat that all are not a problem then.
Let us just forget all these. Let's just start over, okay?
You, me, and Didi. The three of us together.
No matter if our future life will be hard or happy,
let our family be together, okay?
Luo Ziqun, I am indeed a bastard before but I am already trying my best to change.
I can never become people like Old Zhou or He Han.
But at least for you and my son, I already made myself better.
Old Zhou also felt that I am way better now.
But right now, it is now you and that guy of yours who have become the scoundrels.
He is he, I am me. We two really have no relation--
And also, don't worry. I surely will ask back all the money he borrowed from me.
Stop it already. Okay?
Stop it already. Don't be mad anymore.
I admit that I was a piece of shit before. But I do have my limits.
Bai Guang...
Jiang Zi
The books before were not done accurately enough.
During the end of month, they always don't balance.
That's why I reorganized it.
Jiangzi's books have never been clear.
After you came, you indeed had made it very clear.
It is still better to be clear when things should be clear.
I want to clarify one thing.
Since you came back, you've organized this store to a neat and orderly fashion. It really has changed a lot.
But how come you've suddenly become very business-like in treating me?
Why is that?
Haven't you always wanted to look for a good employee?
You also used to be a good employee.
I also used to think that I am a good employee.
You are indeed a good employee.
You even can be said to be my good friend, my little friend.
Friend?
Do you believe that there can be an intimate and no gap pure friendship between a man and a woman?
Just be real friends?
Have you ever had one?
- None.- That's why, being a good employee is the only way I can think of
that can make me stay by your side for a long time.
The fluorescent light in the kitchen is busted.
I already called the repairman and he'll change it for us tomorrow.
Get out! Out! Out!
Ziqun, marry me.
Do you believe that I'll hit you until you leave?
No... What are you doing?
What are you doing?!
I still am not divorce. Moreover, I don't plan to get a divorce.
It was you who told me that you love me and will marry one to two months ago.
Yes, one to two months ago, you said you are single and unmarried.
You're really good. Just disappearing like that. When I started to have some money, you come and borrow from me.
Let me ask you. You just come back here and make this decision on your own, saying that you are going to marry me.
Are you sick or am I sick?!
I've already suffered once. Let me tell you. I won't fall for it again.
You...
Ziqun, yes, it was indeed my fault previously.
But no matter what, I'm way better than that Bai Guang right?
Oh, right, about Bai Guang, I still have to give you a scolding about that.
What right do you have to say that?! What right do you have to say that in front of Bai Guang?
Are you agitating him or me? Have you given any thought about my sake?
You two should divorce!
Then what? Live with you after getting divorced?
Are going to provide for me and my son?
What will you rely on to provide for us? Your money even was borrowed from me.
I am swearing that once we get through these days, things will surely get better.
No matter what, it will be better than that Bai Guang.
Fine. Fine. Fine.
Just come back to find me once you're better, okay?
Ziqun, you are not this snobbish before.
Can you not be this snobbish?
I dated you before because you are a hairstylist, you were skilled at something.
You also give me free haircut and were willing to spend for me and Didi.
In comparison, of course, you are better than Bai Guang.
But thinking about it now, those were all just lies.
If you are really single and has so many salary a month, why will you look for me?
What kind of people are compatible? One cannot have high standards but with little ability.
Yes. Yes. I am indeed not able and has no future prospect. I deserve to look for a person like you.
But I've finally understood it. I sure think more for myself, think more for Didi.
You're saying that it is being snobbish. But I think that it is by innate ability for survival.
Think about it, a man giving me his salary every month and a man who keeps lending money from me.
Think about it. Who will you choose?
You cannot look at the present. You should look at who has a brighter future.
I don't look at the future. I only look at the present.
Ziqun, for you, I've already gotten a divorce.
You still dare to ask for my debts?
When it comes to being merciless, a man can't never win over a woman.
I am just too scared to be fooled again.
I have to protect myself and Didi.
Take this. From now on, don't look for me anymore.
But you must pay be back the money.
Come. Come. Stop blocking me. I'm working.
Zhen Zhu...
Zhen Zhu! Where are you?!
Zhen Zhu
Ziqun, can you sit for awhile?
You can't keep running about like that.
We must save our energy so we can still take care of mom later when she comes out from surgery.
Then...if I am given another chance,
I surely will take good care of her. I am not afraid of getting tired.
I have the vigor and strength.
But...what if...
I've always told her to get a check-up...
She said that she's fine. She kept saying that she's fine.
She kept saying that her health is good.
Ziqun, when mom remembers that Uncle Cui is still waiting for her to go back,
remembers that the life of her two daughters isn't peaceful and stable yet,
she won't bear to just leave like that.
Okay already. Don't cry anymore.
Say, was I usually too fierce on her?
But she also was quite fierce on her, right?
I kept thinking why other families can harmoniously interact with each other
but our family have to keep fighting?
But her attitude towards Uncle Cui is very good.
Once she comes out later, I'm going to ask her. I have to ask her well.
Let me ask you. Did you already tell Bai Guang?
No. I was afraid that if Bai Guang comes, she'll get angrier.
How about you then? Did you tell He Han or Chen Junsheng?
Neither.
DO you know that mom actually...
was most worried about us, especially you.
How come other people can look for a husband that easily?
How come its so hard for the women in our family to find a good husband?
Once mom wakes up, I will tell her
that I surely will go look for a boyfriend that will make her
at ease and is very stable. I'll actively look for him.
I'll tell her to make her at ease.
I should still call Bai Guang.
Let him bring our son over here.
What if mom...
Okay already. Don't say inauspicious words.
Go make the call.
Mommy...
Don't cry anymore.
- The patient's family, come with me for awhile.- Okay.
I'll go out so watch over her. Stop crying already.
Smile.
Although the patient is awake, this is just temporary.
The glioma cancer cells have already spread to her lymph nodes.
How long can she still last?
This...I also can't know.
Because the patient might go into a coma anytime,
the family must make psychological preparations for it.
Thank you.
Junjun...
What did the doctor say?
No, doctors will usually say worst case scenarios, right?
Didn't you tell the doctor that mom got hit by a car when she was young and didn't they say then that there's no more chance?
Wasn't mom still able to survive it? Mom has a blessed life.
Mom, the doctor already said that you'll be fine.
Aren't you doing well now?
The two of us will just stay here to chat with you.
Okay? Don't worry.
Okay.
Mom, you're awake?
You scared me. It's good that you're awake.
When I heard Ziqun's call earlier, I thought...
I brought He Han over.
Auntie, don't worry.
I know the best neurosurgeon in the country.
Later, I'll call him.
I'll tell them about your situation
and listen to their professional opinion.
Really?!
Then can we transfer my mother now to that hospital you're talking about?
- Ziqun.- Ha?
Mom...
If you should divorce him, just divorce him.
Hurry and look for a good man.
If you can't find one, then just earn some more money.
Don't make it such that you are unable to find a man
and also unable to earn money.
Mom, don't worry about it anymore.
Once you're well, I'll listen to everything you say.
Let us not talk about this now, okay?
Let's just talk about it once you're better.
Okay.
He Han...
Come...come over here.
Auntie.
The words that Junjun can't dare to say,
I...will say them in her behalf.
She...likes you.
Loves you.
I am entrusting you
the rest of her life then.
Or else,
even if become a ghost, I will come after you.
Junjun...
What you are doing now is already very good.
That is you dare to love and hate again.
You've surpassed me already.
Auntie...
- Tang Jing.- Yes.
Junsheng told me that you suddenly...got sick.
Junsheng went to fetch Ping'er already.
He'll be here soon.
You're here.
You are just in time.
Thank you.
Coming to visit me at this time.
I envy you, really.
I am thinking that if you are my daughter, how good will that be?
By your side,
are there a lot of men like He Han?
Are some of them courting you?
Yes. You also know these?
Come.
Let me tell you. If this won't do,
go and find another one.
I am already searching.
Don't worry.
Tang Jing...
Why are you such a good person?
To have a friend like you, our Junjun really...
really must have cultivated good deeds for several past lifetimes.
Mom, stop saying nonsense already.
Stop talking already, you hear me?
Just rest...
Rest...
Just let me say nonsense.
Where is Chen Junsheng? Why...
Chen Junsheng is on his way. He'll be here soon.
Come.
While I still have the strength so I can give him a scolding.
Boajian... Cui Baojian...
- That...- Cui Baojian...
After Uncle Cui learned that you got hospitalized, his heart became unwell.
The doctor is currently giving him medicines.
Once they are done, they will take him here to visit you.
Don't worry. Okay?
Okay...
Then I'll just...
Then I'll just...wait...
wait for him...
Mom, mom, don't sleep.
Mom, open your eyes.
- You still have a lot of words to tell us.- Open your eyes. Don't sleep.
- Mom, don't sleep.- Mom, talk to us more.
- Mom.- Mom, don't you still have a lot of words to tell me?
- Mom.- Didn't you say earlier...
- that you still have a lot of words to say to me.- Mom, I'll do the divorce. Mom...
I'll go call the doctor.
Mom. Mom. I'll listen to you. I'll do the divorce, okay?
Mom...
Mom, mom...
Okay.
I know already. Thank you.
The doctor said that there is no need to transfer her anymore.
The only thing comforting about it
is that she won't suffer much.
Say, don't old people usually have prior signs before anything bad happens?
My mother usually was more energetic than me.
How come...
We didn't get to prepare ourselves for this at all.
Mom.
Get up.
Mom, already can't sense anything.
Do all people die?
Yes.
Where do dead people go?
They go to another world.
Another world? How is that world?
I also don't know.
It's like... a movie that I haven't seen yet.
I don't know why it's like that.
Do you want to go in?
I'll go in with you.
To stay at grandma's side.
Even though grandma can't speak,
you have to carefully listen
You can still feel what she has to say to you.
Uncle Cui.
Zhenzhu.
I'm so sorry.
It was I who dragged you down.
You are still so young.
The first to go should be me.
You said I have so many things I have to do.
I have to care of so many people.
I worry everyday about your Uncle Cui's health.Also you and Ziqun,
I can't If I can't arrange things correctly. I'm worried about you two!
Junjun, don't cry.
Don't cry.
You're mom's good girl.
Junjun...
Are you okay? Does it hurt?
But he's good to you.
What's more important is I feel that he treats you well.
Right now, my daughter is doing much, much better than before.
Some people hurt, some people love.
Some people, everyday, ask her how she's doing.
More importantly, he also treats your son so well!
I... don't want you to be snobbish.
I am just saying that you should clearly think about the future of you and your child.
Why are you returning home so late?
What job are you looking for? So late.
You haven't eaten? I'll heat something up for you.
No need, no need. I've eaten already.
Other people change so many times, but we definitely can't change.
Me. You. Mom. We're the closest people.
It will get better everyday.
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
Good. Good. Slowly.
Slowly. Slowly. We're not in a hurry.
Slowly. You just have to able to get up,
then you can sit still again.
After a bit, you'll be able to walk.
Good. Good.
Don't you worry. I'm not going.
Stop forcefully pulling on me.
I'll stay with you.
Thank you.
Are you going home? I can drive you.
No need. I'm grabbing a taxi.
Is your work finished?
You said you want to wait for things to be settled, and then talk.
Do you still remember CCG's Ms. Wu?
I went to look for her two days ago.
I'm just waiting for mom's situation to be settled, I want to go with her to Guangdong.
You're going to Guangdong?
It's hard for a job like this where I can showcase my capabilities to come by.
I don't want to miss that opportunity.
I'm going. Bye.
[Agricultural Bank of China]
Do you know how much money mom had in the bank?
Over 300,000.
She didn't get much money from her salary
I always thought she had about 8,000 to 10,000
I never thought it would be this much.
You said she saved a lot, who knew it was this much.
She was worried about me. I know it.
She was worried we wouldn't have money.
So...
Ziqun. Take all that money,
get the next door shop
and expand the business a little.
If you give me these money, I only will just spend them.
You have to remember,
keep away from that Ah Hui,
don't let him know how much money it is.
It's mom's money.
I cannot let him think about taking one cent. Got it?
As for Bai Guang, remember what mom said.
I know.
On this day, at this time,
I gave my own life a dividing line.
Saying goodbye to those that I should say goodbye with.
Life never gives us time to calmly prepare.
I don't know what the next crossing has in store for me,
but I need to go.
Cannot stay. Cannot ponder.
Cannot feel any nostalgia.
I'm afraid I'll make a mistake.
"In The Pouring Rain" by Ye Linsheng
♫ In the torrential rain, ♫
♫ among the busy cars ♫
♫ Why is the image of your face still so clear? ♫
♫ I hold my breath, ♫
♫ watching you as you leave ♫
♫ Why do I feel my heart slightly wavering? ♫
♫ When did I start becoming used to ♫
♫ your presence? ♫
♫ Your calls always appear at the perfect time ♫
♫ My heart has sold me out ♫
♫ I still have a little hope ♫
♫ that you will come back, searching for me ♫
♫ In the torrential rain, ♫
♫ among the busy cars ♫
♫ Why is the image of your face still so clear? ♫
♫ I hold my breath, ♫
♫ watching you as you run towards me ♫
♫ My heart ♫
♫ is slightly wavering